Turn on Nick the episode of Friends with Duchess Fergie is on RIGHT NOW!
objects removed: a poem 
/

she sleeps in little silky slips
that fall just below her hips
the little white pills
come out of the silver case
to be tired
oh so very very tired
yet unable to sleep

her mind digs for
an endless stream of thoughts
no pleasant ones remain
things one doesn’t speak of
best not to think of
if one has a choice
so terribly terribly alone

remember darling, when you were married
the very first time
he tied you to the bed
left you there so long
red marks on your wrist
squint and you’ll see
they’re still there

white is her color
white cotton shirts with little buttons
white feathers in her hair
white pearls from Queen Mary
white embroidered bed sheets
the maids would iron every day

he’s only with her
in the photo on the table
she very dearly hopes
the pugs are still alive
it’s been so long
since she heard them barking
they needed her so

when you were fourteen
the prince was sixteen
those photos from the newspaper
up on the wall of your step-father’s house
you whispered to Mary
as you sipped your lemonade
I’m going to marry him some day

he smelled of cigarettes
and his grandfather’s suits
how quickly she got used to it
but always complaining still
that he must stop now
or else those horrid things
will be the death of him

the lawyer, a ravenous wolf
feasting on a wounded deer
that creaking sound the jewelry box makes
when it has been opened
powerless to stop it
she must tell now, pray tell
what do those lovely inscriptions mean?

your lipstick was all over his face
when he met the cabinet
the whole ordeal, so ill-advised
and you knew it at the time
when you wrote to Aunt Bessie
asking why it was
you couldn’t just be happy

who made this? Cartier?
is the date correct?
but what does it mean?
what happened in the bathtub?
speak now, really it’s time
so much easier to sell
if there’s a story to tell

objects removed, one by one
a house in disrepair
yet she does not speak
the story kept in her mind
where only she can read it
but her eyes don’t work
so good anymore

he pulled the pins out of your hair
your head tilted back
hard to sort out what he meant
the punishment, the reward
the things you received
and the price you paid
to have them

today they took
a pretty green book
from the second husband
with a sweet little note
Happy New Year 1932
probably won’t fetch much
save the good stuff

red nail polish
bought in 1956
long since gone bad
that winter in Palm Beach
please tell me David
is this color too bold?
have I gotten too old?

that time at York House
you spent the night
he left you the next morning
to go off kinging
and you wouldn’t leave his bedroom
on the other side of the door
everyone hated you

like Rapunzel in the tower,
she waits for her prince
as the world turns outside
thirteen years
she’s been alone
the remnants of a life
in photographs

objects removed: a poem 

/

she sleeps in little silky slips

that fall just below her hips

the little white pills

come out of the silver case

to be tired

oh so very very tired

yet unable to sleep



her mind digs for

an endless stream of thoughts

no pleasant ones remain

things one doesn’t speak of

best not to think of

if one has a choice

so terribly terribly alone



remember darling, when you were married

the very first time

he tied you to the bed

left you there so long

red marks on your wrist

squint and you’ll see

they’re still there



white is her color

white cotton shirts with little buttons

white feathers in her hair

white pearls from Queen Mary

white embroidered bed sheets

the maids would iron every day



he’s only with her

in the photo on the table

she very dearly hopes

the pugs are still alive

it’s been so long

since she heard them barking

they needed her so



when you were fourteen

the prince was sixteen

those photos from the newspaper

up on the wall of your step-father’s house

you whispered to Mary

as you sipped your lemonade

I’m going to marry him some day



he smelled of cigarettes

and his grandfather’s suits

how quickly she got used to it

but always complaining still

that he must stop now

or else those horrid things

will be the death of him



the lawyer, a ravenous wolf

feasting on a wounded deer

that creaking sound the jewelry box makes

when it has been opened

powerless to stop it

she must tell now, pray tell

what do those lovely inscriptions mean?



your lipstick was all over his face

when he met the cabinet

the whole ordeal, so ill-advised

and you knew it at the time

when you wrote to Aunt Bessie

asking why it was

you couldn’t just be happy



who made this? Cartier?

is the date correct?

but what does it mean?

what happened in the bathtub?

speak now, really it’s time

so much easier to sell

if there’s a story to tell



objects removed, one by one

a house in disrepair

yet she does not speak

the story kept in her mind

where only she can read it

but her eyes don’t work

so good anymore



he pulled the pins out of your hair

your head tilted back

hard to sort out what he meant

the punishment, the reward

the things you received

and the price you paid

to have them



today they took

a pretty green book

from the second husband

with a sweet little note

Happy New Year 1932

probably won’t fetch much

save the good stuff



red nail polish

bought in 1956

long since gone bad

that winter in Palm Beach

please tell me David

is this color too bold?

have I gotten too old?



that time at York House

you spent the night

he left you the next morning

to go off kinging

and you wouldn’t leave his bedroom

on the other side of the door

everyone hated you



like Rapunzel in the tower,

she waits for her prince

as the world turns outside

thirteen years

she’s been alone

the remnants of a life

in photographs

.

And One More For the Road

She was convinced her childhood best friend was leaking information to the press. Absolutely convinced. Even had an off-the-wall theory her friend had written a trash biography of her under a pseudonym. There was literally no sane reason to blame this particular friend.

Her royal-in-laws were leaking to the press, though. Still are. 

Vintage Royal Blind Item

The way she would tell it: It was love at first sight. The sun was behind him, so he looked like a angel sent from heaven above. She followed the light  and their eyes met. From then on it was electric, the chemistry between them almost setting the room on fire. They exchanged love letters and pined for one another when they were apart, and when they were together you’d have to pry them apart. He wanted to marry her and they could have been together forever. Truly one of the great loves of history. But then his wandering eye got in the way. He was unfaithful because he was foolish and didn’t understand what they had. She still loved him, and knew he loved her, but it was never the same. Finally it just became too painful, and she knew it had to end. 

The way he would tell it: He was bored, she was there. 

Royal Blind Item

This royal girlfriend has been telling her friends she and her significant other are secretly engaged. Everyone believed her at first, but now that a lot of time has passed with no ring and no announcement, people are starting to doubt her story.

She was telling the truth, by the way. He has proposed; he just hasn’t gotten up the nerve to tell his parents! 

Clues:

-Not Cressida.

-It’s not that his parents wouldn’t approve as much as that he has in the past  downplayed his interest. 

Royal Blind Item

So she got her prince…. but where’s his money?

This former commoner married her husband with dreams of castles and tiaras and designer clothes, but it turns out he’s broke. They’re currently living in a rather modest apartment, not too far from where his much wealthier relatives reside, and let’s just say our mystery girl is green with envy! 

Don’t forget Prince Harry’s South Pole Heroes on NBC tonight at 8pm EST
Hey, do you know how to find ip address on anon messages in here? I've been getting these weird messages, and so far the tips I've found don't work.
Anonymous

hahahahahahaha try coming off anon

Hey, I heard you were doing a royal otp challenge. Do you have a link to the days? It looks super fun!

http://vintage-royalty.tumblr.com/post/53897475472

Here it is! I came up with it a while ago but it just recently caught on. :)

Royals Around the World Spam 

The Danish Royal Family in Greenland

longliveroyalty:

Princess Mary of the United Kingdom, in The Sphere magazine commemorating her wedding to Viscount Lascelles. 1922.

longliveroyalty:

Princess Mary of the United Kingdom, in The Sphere magazine commemorating her wedding to Viscount Lascelles. 1922.

The opposition to the Emperor and Empress coming here, is so strong; that we must be allowed to withdraw from the consent previously given to the Russian government’s proposal.

An excerpt from a letter send to Prime Minister, David Lloyd George from the Secretary of the King regarding the Britain’s offer of asylum to the Tsar of Russia and his family.

This did not really come out until years later, some wonder why George V would have done such a thing. Is is calculating or just evil?

(via royalwatcher)

I’ve always wondered what his exact reasoning. Most evidence that has come out suggested the strongest opposition came from George himself and his office. 

I’ve done a lot of research and it’s hard to avoid the fact that George both opposed his own government’s plan to offer the Romanovs asylum and that he knew doing so would put them at risk for imprisonment and death. 

So, these are the reasons that are the most logical in my eyes, and in all likelihood it was some combination of them and not just one reason: 

1. Some sort of little understood (to modern historians) family feud between George/Mary and Nicky/Alix. Their letters don’t really hint at this at all, but in the years since there have been reports of some rumored animosity between the two couples, or primarily between the two wives. 

2. Paranoia. To put it simply, George was insanely paranoid about a revolution in Britain that would put his throne at risk. While I have seen letters and other evidence that hints at this paranoia and many historians tie it into his choice to change the family name to Windsor during World War I. He was definitely paranoid, so this is the explanation most historians gravitate to, but I’ve always thought there might have been more to it. 

3. A truly naive belief that despite all the evidence to the contrary God would somehow “look after” Nicholas’s family so George didn’t need to concern himself with it.

4. Greed. I mean if the Romanovs came to Britain they would need to have somewhere to stay, and servants would have to be provided, and they probably wouldn’t be able to bring most of their money with them so you know how those expenses would just add up. And then what happens when all those daughters marry a bunch of other exiled Russian aristocrats? Does poor George have to fund them too? And will he have to hire a bunch of guys to watch Alexei so he doesn’t die? I mean, it’s not like George was running a charity house! Note: the previous remarks were satirical, but I have actually seem people argue that George couldn’t afford to offer the Romanovs asylum, or even that he didn’t have room! This theory actually has a lot going for it (George being a greedy bastard, not him being unable to afford it.) because George was a bit of a miser. 

just an fyi i'm from cincinnati and crazypants has moved back and has been taking the baby out on stake outs. all the clinic escorts dread dealing with her. she has also been seen in some other major cities in the midwest. she is very angry and unbalanced and the kid screams bloody murder all day because of the cold.
Anonymous

I thought she and Imre were still traipsing around Austria and Germany, but this doesn’t surprise me. When you mention stake outs do you just mean the normal protesting bullshit or is she one of the few really stupid ones who shows up at 5am to try and catch the doctor arriving? 

40 Days for Life just started yesterday so I expected she might turn back up in the US, but didn’t think it would be this soon. My understanding is in Europe there are much stricter laws protecting patient privacy and preventing disruptive behavior. 

I wonder if it’s safe to take a newborn out in below freezing weather? 

Are you aware that Alix has the smallest head ever seen? I dread that — with [Bertie’s] small empty brain — very much for future children.

Queen Victoria, to her daughter, Vicky, sharing her worries about the marriage of her son, Bertie (the future King Edward VII), and, Alix (the future Queen Alexandra) — a marriage that Victoria herself carefully arranged.

If you ever want tips on how to be completely despicable and incredibly terrible to your children, just read ANY letter that Queen Victoria ever wrote to or about her son, Bertie, who later became King Edward VII.

(via deadpresidents)

Oh yes, i like Victoria but as a mother, she was terrible! , in special with poor Leopold.

(via carolathhabsburg)

Victoria as a mom…. just ugh….