One of my dear friends recently checked out a certain book from the library. I told her that it was trashy, and that she shouldn’t believe a word of it. She totally disregarded my views, because to her the books makes so much sense. Things she hadn’t previously understood just all fell into place!

Like for instance, why the Queen Mum hated Wallis so much. Did you guys know she was in love with David? It’s true! She only married Bertie because David didn’t want her! Not only was she in love with him, but Elizabeth carried a torch for David for decades. That’s why she hated Wallis. For stealing her imginary boyfriend. All those years Elizabeth was married to Bertie (who was like, ugly and gross and stuff, right guys?) she was pining for David and wishing desperately she had him as a husband instead of a man who worshipped the ground she walked on.

Of course in that context, her friendship with Thelma Furness doesn’t make much sense, because after all if she was so jealous of David loving another woman that she would punish Wallis for thirty years why wouldn’t she have hated Thelma? My guess is that she was trying to secretly murder her.

Isn’t this theory totally logical and rational and not at all stupid?